“Of Giants and Dwarves” (originally published in German as Von Riesen und Zwergen) is a psychological and psychotherapeutic paper authored by Dieter Rohmann, published in the journal Wege zum Menschen (Issue 2, 2002). The paper outlines a three-stage psychotherapeutic framework for working with active cult members and individuals who have recently left cults.

‘There is reality, and that cannot be shaken. But there are countless truths – that is, opinions about reality expressed in words – and each is just as true as it is false.’ (Hermann Hesse)

Summary: The ‘dreams and visions’ of cult members and the fears of their families often associated with them will be used to develop a ‘three-stage model’ that outlines an appropriate approach to psychotherapeutic work with cult members and those who have left cults.

The symptoms directly associated with leaving a cult – comparable to the tip of an iceberg – can essentially be addressed within Stages I and II. The larger, invisible part of the iceberg lies beneath the surface and can only be addressed within Stage III once Stages I and II have been completed. Years of testing this intervention approach have shown that it is only once all three stages – from top to bottom – have been completed that the client is enabled to understand and process their cult experience, ultimately arriving at a mindset of self-acceptance.

Abstract: The ‘dreams’ and visions of cult members often cause anxiety and fear within their families. An appropriate approach to psychotherapeutic work with ex-cult and current cult members is represented by a ‘Three-Step Model’. The symptoms immediately associated with leaving a cult – comparable to the tip of an iceberg – can essentially be addressed using Steps I and II. The larger, invisible part of the iceberg, which lies beneath the surface, can be addressed in Step III, but only once Steps I and II have been completed. Years of testing this approach in clinical practice have shown that only when these three steps have been completed is the client potentially capable of understanding, overcoming and integrating their cult experience, in order to ultimately achieve self-acceptance.

1. The Dream

In fact, there are really only two distinct approaches within so-called sects or cults: two levels of offering in the marketplace of spiritual possibilities and the ubiquitous personality and motivation training programmes.

One approach is committed to the motto ‘Anything is possible’ and promises the individual greater effectiveness, success, improved performance, and more action than reaction, all under the maxim: higher, faster, further….

This approach is deeply performance-oriented and in no way questions the fundamental principles of our Western industrial and performance-driven society. Quite the contrary:

Here, the principle of performance is celebrated as an absolute promise of salvation. There is a turn towards society and its values. The path to the self via the maximisation of one’s own performance. This encompasses all so-called ‘psycho-cults’ and the most diverse personality and motivation seminars.

In stark contrast, the other approach is dominated by a body of thought that fundamentally challenges the performance paradigm (as we understand it in the West). Here, turning away from the performance principle is the overriding maxim. ‘Towards one’s true self’ is the message, which regards a withdrawal from societal values as imperative. The aim here is to find alternative niches alongside what already exists. The aim is to turn away from the notion of achievement in order to finally be able to concentrate on the ‘essential’. The path to oneself via a rejection of the meritocracy. Generally speaking, all religious and esoteric movements can be subsumed under this. In the past, it was actually this strand that repeatedly made headlines.

Wherever people may find themselves within these two orientations – they have questioned themselves, their own experiences, insights and convictions, values, visions and dreams. Which, in principle, is not wrong to begin with, nor is it reprehensible. However, as a result, they are or were also prepared to live out the dream of someone who is actually a stranger to them (guru, master, prophet, coach, etc.) – to make that person’s visions and convictions for a better future, a better life, a fairer world, and so on, their own. The dilemma now lies in the fact that what is supposedly new and better does not stem from a life lived first-hand, but was simply adopted within a very short space of time. Trust in one’s own, self-defined dreams and visions has, for the time being, been set aside.

2. The fear

The resulting changes in the person are usually very difficult for relatives to comprehend. They are often bewildered by an abrupt change in the cult member’s personality. The old/original set of values appears to have been replaced within a very short space of time by the values of the cult or its leader.

Helplessness, disappointment, anger, grief, worry and fear become constant companions for family members. These are natural reactions that should be taken seriously, but which can at the same time make contact with the cult member more difficult and cast a shadow over the relationship. As fear is the worst possible guide, I would like to share a few thoughts and tips with you here on how to support family members:

• Cult members seek salvation in the content of their beliefs. A large part of our Western world seeks salvation in external forms.
• There is hardly anyone who joins a sect or cult ‘with their head’. Most join ‘on a whim’.
• There is probably no cult member who does not harbour doubts about their involvement in the cult from time to time.
• The cult member is your most important ally – the only person who can tell you exactly what they need in order to leave the cult.
• Almost everything can be manipulated within a cult, but not one’s own personal past.
• Move away from the idea that ‘they’ve taken my child, my partner, etc. away from me and brainwashed them’. Cult members are perfectly capable of thinking for themselves. Where else would all the defectors come from?
• Do not take a stand against the cult and the cult member, but for the cult member.
• Relatives should under no circumstances react with aggression or accusations. On the one hand, this causes the cult member to adopt a defensive stance and prevents any possibility of dialogue; on the other hand, it gives the cult more power, because this is precisely the behaviour the cult predicted would occur.
• It is not about who has the better arguments or who is right. As a family member, do not fall into this trap. It helps no one.
• Show that you are interested and respectful, yet critical of the cult.
• Ask questions. Only those who ask questions get answers. For example: What are you looking for? Have you found it? What were you promised? How long will it take for you to get where you want to be? How can I help you with that?
• Try to understand why your son, daughter or partner joined the cult. Discuss the matter within your family. Don’t treat the subject as a taboo amongst yourselves.
• Fear arises when we are confronted with something completely unfamiliar, which we do not know and about which we know nothing. This fear diminishes as we acquire knowledge about the unfamiliar and thereby learn to understand it.
• Seek expert help from one of the counselling centres in your area. Help that enables you to gain a better understanding and to build a ‘bridge’ to the cult member.
• The aim should not be to weaken your son/daughter/partner even further, but rather to empower them to make their own decisions.
• You are asking your son/daughter/partner to change – specifically, to leave the movement. However, you should only do this if you, too, are prepared to change.
• Focus on the person you know, not on the cult member.
• Your meetings and conversations should be characterised by mutual respect.
• Try to make a fresh start in your relationship, because anyone who joins a cult is also capable of leaving it again when the time is right.

There is often talk of manipulation, mind control and even brainwashing in connection with cult members. This leads to them being viewed from the outset as passive victims who have apparently been drawn into the spell of a totalitarian movement through no fault of their own. In my view, this explanation seems rather one-sided and shortsighted. Joining a cult always involves a person who – whether consciously or not – chooses a cult and actively joins it. It is easily overlooked that joining a cult is never a unidirectional process and therefore cannot be explained by a single cause alone. On the one hand, there is the cult with its members, its ideology, its value system, its truth, its ideals and promises, which can essentially be understood as an offer. On the other hand, there are people who feel drawn to precisely these offers made by the cult in question – or who do not. It is therefore important to examine both sides in detail : the person being manipulated and the manipulator – the ‘key’ and the ‘lock’. I would like to explore this in more detail below.

3. Giant or Dwarf

Under ‘Other Clinically Relevant Problems’ in the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), the category V62.89 (Z71.8) ‘Religious or Spiritual Problem’ with the following brief description: ‘This category may be used when a religious or spiritual problem is the primary focus of clinical attention. Examples include distressing experiences leading to the loss or questioning of religious beliefs, problems associated with conversion to another faith, or the questioning of spiritual values, even independently of an organised church or religious institution”.

The ‘loss or questioning of religious beliefs’ is usually accompanied by leaving a religious community, a so-called sect or cult. This section aims to outline what effective short-term individual therapy (5–25 sessions) for cult members or those leaving a cult might look like in practice.

There are various ways of leaving a so-called sect or cult:

• as a result of one’s own negative experiences and/or the perception of a discrepancy between doctrine and actual behaviour,
• through expulsion from the community by the leadership; or
• through discussions and the exchange of information with family members, friends or professional counsellors.

However, each of these ways of leaving a cult is associated with a number of typical problems and symptoms for the member. These depend, amongst other things, on the duration of membership and the position the former member held within the group. The following symptoms (Giambalvo, 1993) are usually directly linked to leaving a cult and are therefore the primary focus of attention:

feelings of guilt, impaired decision-making ability, a sense of hopelessness, worry and grief, anger and frustration, fear and anxiety, feelings of isolation, mistrust, a tendency towards absolutist dichotomous thinking, dissociative states, feelings of being superfluous and worthless, so-called ‘floating’ experiences, sleep disturbances and nightmares, family and work-related problems, feelings of alienation, depression, etc.

The general state following a departure can be understood as a critical life event, as a crisis; in the sense of ‘no longer – not yet’.

‘No longer’, because the value system of the cult in question has (for whatever reasons) proved no longer tenable for the person leaving. ‘Not yet’, because the value system of our society – which the person once found just as untenable – is now once again up for debate.

This state can be vividly described as a void, bounded by the value systems in the form of two millstones, between which the ex-member is subjected to intense pressure and runs the risk of being crushed.

In order to provide adequate support to cult members or those leaving a cult during this phase, the following three stages should be undertaken in sequence, following a thorough history-taking, assessment and diagnosis Stage I focuses primarily on providing background information on the movement in question, such as its ideology, hierarchy and daily life, as well as on discussions of spiritual, religious, philosophical and political topics, etc. To this end, it is necessary for the counsellor to determine which category of cult they are actually dealing with (Christian fundamentalist group, guru movement, psycho-cult or esoteric movement).

Furthermore, they should familiarise themselves with the specific cult and its religious or spiritual orientation. They should learn to understand the system of values—which the cult has established as absolutely binding—what is defined within the cult as desirable or undesirable behaviour, and how behaviour deviating from the ideology or doctrine is sanctioned. The concept of social desirability also plays a role here, particularly as cults have absolutely binding norms regarding good behaviour or positive characteristics.

Most cults operate within a framework of absolutist, dichotomous thinking in the sense of ‘either–or’, ‘black–black and white – good and evil, inside and outside. Ultimately, the diversity of the colour spectrum between black and white can no longer be perceived; there is no longer any room for nuances and shades of grey. It is therefore particularly important to be aware of the personal, negative consequences – according to the cult’s prophecies – that leaving the cult entails. As a result of this extreme cognitive orientation, cult members may, over time, develop what is known as ‘exit phobia’. If a member does leave, the symptoms mentioned above can consequently be observed in varying forms and intensities.

In Stage II, Lifton’s (1963) theory of mind control should be explained, and various theories from social and perceptual psychology should be examined in more detail and applied to the cult in question. Of particular relevance here are, for example, the theories of conformity (Asch, 1956), locus of control (Rotter, 1966), attribution (Weiner, 1974), cognitive dissonance (Festinger et al., 1956), forced compliance (Festinger & Carlsmith, 1959), learned helplessness (Seligman, 1975), obedience to authority (Milgram, 1974), deindividuation (Zimbardo, 1969), self-fulfilling prophecy (Merton, 1948) and selective perception (Hernandez-Peon, 1966).

Explaining and presenting these theories helps, amongst other things, to make the client aware of the extent to which we all – depending on the context – make decisions, perceive, are deceived or manipulated, or allow ourselves to be deceived or manipulated. In Stage II, it becomes clear to the client in a vivid and comprehensible way that, on the one hand, it could happen to almost anyone – under certain circumstances – to follow the promises of a cult, and, on the other hand, it is by no means a given that one can readily recognise indoctrination mechanisms and see through them as such. In this phase, they also become painfully aware once again of their role and their own involvement in the cult.

Both of these stages help the client to understand, explain and come to terms with their experiences within the cult. The symptoms and problems mentioned above, which are directly linked to leaving the cult, can usually be fully addressed and resolved at this stage.

In Stage III, the motives and predisposing factors that may have led to joining the cult in question are analysed. By this stage at the latest, the client wishes to understand why they, in particular, took this path and why they were unable to say ‘no’ and simply leave earlier on. This stage addresses areas that were significant to the client prior to joining the cult, such as past trauma, experiences of loss, fears, family, relationships, friendships, emotions, loneliness, sexuality, communication, frustration, self-esteem, self-perception and perception of others, insecurity, outlook on the future, dependence, autonomy, attitudes, expectations, etc.

This stage can be introduced, for example, with the following questions:

`What hopes, dreams and aspirations did you have before joining the cult?´
`What fears, hurts and disappointments did you experience at that time?´
`Why do you think you were so receptive to your cult’s ideology, etc.?´
`Why do you think you needed this framework?´
`What were you actually looking for?´
`Did you find what you were originally looking for?`
`Why did you wait so long to leave your movement?`
`What ultimately enabled you to leave your cult?`
`Were you able to say ‘no’ before your cult experience?`

Stage III is therefore of particular relevance because, in the psychotherapeutic setting, it has repeatedly become clear that, in addition to the problems directly associated with leaving, the distressing issues from the pre-cult phase – life before the cult – also resurface. In practice, it has repeatedly been shown that these issues were merely ‘put on hold’ during membership and only became fully relevant again upon leaving.

Time and again in the past, former cult members (between 1 and 8 years after leaving) have approached me requesting counselling or support. All of these ex-members had sought help immediately after leaving.

Most turned to the representatives for ideological issues within the two established churches, to various cult counselling centres, to psychologists and social workers, or reported having been admitted to a psychiatric ward. Surprisingly, despite this thoroughly professional support, the former members had still not come to terms with their cult experience years later and continued to report a wide variety of disorders closely linked to their former membership and their departure from the cult. One possible explanation for this could be that conventional counselling centres, in their work with cult members or those who have left, primarily limit themselves to the content of Stage I and possibly parts of Stage II, whilst in a psychotherapeutic setting, work is mainly focused on Stage III and possibly parts of Stage II. It stands to reason that, whilst addressing individual stages in isolation immediately after leaving a cult is helpful and is experienced as supportive, it does not appear to be sufficient for the long-term and lasting processing of the experiences. In my experience, clients are only ready to engage intensively with Stage III once they have worked through Stages I and II in sequence and have understood their content. But it is only through Stage III that clients can succeed in both forgiving themselves and developing a self-accepting attitude for the rest of their lives.

Not to be the giant of their dreams, but neither to be the dwarf of their fears.

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